Question of the Day Mentally overcoming a risk
- Thread starter Alcatraz
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Everyone makes mistakes. Learn from those you make as we will make them. Learn from others as they will make them. Reefs evolve over time so plan accordingly (20+ years). No bad days. Do no harm.
It is sort of like painting a house or a room. Preparation is everything and the hardest or most time consuming part. More or less how I setup my systems and I still run into small problems or risks or do dumb things.
Gentlefish
🇺🇦 Solidarity with Ukraine 🇺🇦
- Location
- Canada, Ontario
Mentally, I am a nervous wreck.
I do preach risk mitigation and redundancy. Then … there is only so much you can do, right?
I have multiple tank syndrome, and stock equipment like it would make a squirrel jealous.
Paranoid about bio safety, and yet, I have been unable to avoid needless death in my pets. Not going over well for me. I don’t think I deal with this in a healthy matter, over time it heals over.
I do preach risk mitigation and redundancy. Then … there is only so much you can do, right?
I have multiple tank syndrome, and stock equipment like it would make a squirrel jealous.
Paranoid about bio safety, and yet, I have been unable to avoid needless death in my pets. Not going over well for me. I don’t think I deal with this in a healthy matter, over time it heals over.
Integrity
Well-known member
If my current tank leaks I would be done. I'd do everything I could to safely bring livestock to an lfs or something and I just couldn't see me booting up another tank tbh. I mean, I guess maybe if IM sent me another tank I'd consider it but most likely I'd sell it off to someone. I'd keep my little 10g tank going tho as long as corals stay happy
John Reefer Vermont
Proud HumbleFish Minion
- Location
- Vermont
For me, losing a fish affects me more than normal. I love what we do here and I really enjoy helping as a Medic but I often get so affected by some postings, that I need to walk away. Every loss is hard for me and in a way, it makes me not just sad but angry sometimes.
I loved helping others in my area and it was very rewarding to pick up fish that looked dead and bringing them back beautiful and healthy but quickly I noticed that some would relax their husbandries more because "John can help". That is when I stopped and completely stop doing it.
I think everyone here are heroes. Bobby, Dierks, Dexter, Vincent, GentelFish, Andrew, Alcatraz and everyone else who is so passionate in helping people. But I must be honest and say that when I give advise and the fish do not make it, it messes with my mental health. I wish I could be more like all the heroes here. I think if I was a Doctor, I would stop being a doctor quickly. I know that we have to put things into prospective but I do the best and take breaks when it is too much for me. Don't get me wrong, when Bobby made me a medic, I could not be more honored and take that very seriously but I really hate to see how many precious animals are lost.
I loved helping others in my area and it was very rewarding to pick up fish that looked dead and bringing them back beautiful and healthy but quickly I noticed that some would relax their husbandries more because "John can help". That is when I stopped and completely stop doing it.
I think everyone here are heroes. Bobby, Dierks, Dexter, Vincent, GentelFish, Andrew, Alcatraz and everyone else who is so passionate in helping people. But I must be honest and say that when I give advise and the fish do not make it, it messes with my mental health. I wish I could be more like all the heroes here. I think if I was a Doctor, I would stop being a doctor quickly. I know that we have to put things into prospective but I do the best and take breaks when it is too much for me. Don't get me wrong, when Bobby made me a medic, I could not be more honored and take that very seriously but I really hate to see how many precious animals are lost.
Integrity
Well-known member
I'm sorry if any of my failures ever upset you.
It's to a point with me that trying my best isn't always enough and that's when I get defeated and question it all. Like, I know I can do this but when things go wrong you can usually trace the issue back to a decision I made and it's very tough, I feel like I'm always going from super happy and proud of my tank to sad and angry with myself so much, it can get exhausting. I'm hoping for that day where everything calms down and I can more so just let the tank grow and thrive without my hands getting wet because that's when things can go badly.
Flippers4pups
Fins up since 1993!
Isn't this discussion truly about one's mortality? We as human beings tend to not put much thought about our own mortality, let alone the animals that we keep mortality.
But......
Everything will die at some point. Those of us with faith understand that all of this has been engineered not stay the same, but to change, that also includes us as humans. As we age, this becomes more clear.
To think that we have any true control over any of this, is nothing more than a fool's errand. More like manipulate to hopefully prolong the inevitable.
Anything to do with this hobby must be taken with kid gloves. Do everything possible to cross every t and dot every i to keep disaster from happening, and if it does, we learn from it and either continue or wash our hands and walk away.
But......
Everything will die at some point. Those of us with faith understand that all of this has been engineered not stay the same, but to change, that also includes us as humans. As we age, this becomes more clear.
To think that we have any true control over any of this, is nothing more than a fool's errand. More like manipulate to hopefully prolong the inevitable.
Anything to do with this hobby must be taken with kid gloves. Do everything possible to cross every t and dot every i to keep disaster from happening, and if it does, we learn from it and either continue or wash our hands and walk away.
What I experience (spouse and daughter are PICU nurses) is that they look at the number of patients they send home or to other floors. They give respect and honor walk to those who are unfortunate yet give gifts of life to others. Those that they cannot they focus on the families.
I am sure you do but if not just remember that you also save some or educate hobbyist in the process which is very helpful.
Little off topic so all accept my apology.
Flippers4pups
Fins up since 1993!
My apologies for getting off topic as well.
I spent years on forums, trying to give back to the community. Knowing all too well that a lot of what I put out may have fell on deaf ears, or not taken seriously.
I know I did the best I could. But you can't hold peoples hands and you can't always persuade them to do what's right.
elementalj
Well-known member
Desire versus risk is a thing. I desire a tank full of things I can't go see on my own. My risks of keeping them are mitigated with the experiences of my past and by paying attention to the actions of others. If someone is having a crash I offer help.
Everyting about our world seems complicated so might as well give things a try.
Everyting about our world seems complicated so might as well give things a try.
Humblefish
Dr. Fish
- Location
- Wandering Nomad
When I first started my QT business, I wasn't mentally prepared for mass DOAs, bad shipments, etc. I remember one time my mom was visiting us, and everything was going wrong for one reason or another. I was cursing up a storm, saying why did I get myself into this, etc. etc. My mother calmly took my hands and said, "You are either going to have to find a way to let the losses go, or stop doing this."
I guess that's what I needed to hear; because I calmed down, focused more and gradually things got better. In the real world, you win some and you lose some. Hold onto that feeling of victory to get you through the tough times.
I guess that's what I needed to hear; because I calmed down, focused more and gradually things got better. In the real world, you win some and you lose some. Hold onto that feeling of victory to get you through the tough times.
This -- So much this --
A mother's job is never done.
TheWyldZone
Send Nudis
When I got in to research and conservation and resale I died a bit inside. Definitely wasn't ready for the amount of death I'd have to deal with. I don't think I'll ever get over it emotionally, it hurts every time. But mentally I've accepted it as part of the process. Of course I'd like to see less death but it comes with the territory. As for tank disasters. I'm used to that. After losing everything a few times it becomes more tolerable.
Just lost everything again to my apartment flooding out in FL and apartment staff intentionally destroying my more unique outdoor systems. At this point I just roll with the punches.
Just lost everything again to my apartment flooding out in FL and apartment staff intentionally destroying my more unique outdoor systems. At this point I just roll with the punches.